My readers i missed you ;**
adri inni ma9a5t'ha oo 5alaitkom tan6iroon WAYID :$
yalla thats my exam treat for you, if u got good grades hehe ;p
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And then I heard a voice on his end of the phone. Feminine. La2 this can't be happening..
Voice: Yasoof!! Wainik!!
Yusif: umm.. Zaina? Akalmich ba3ad shway
And he hung up
WTF!!!!
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I looked at the screen with disbelief. Wut was THAT? Ay shay 9a7? He has a girl?? And at 2, it must be his wife.. With all the tidilli3 and mushy stuff.. "Yasoof" .. urgh
My anger was building as I thought more about it. Ya3ni shino, ana tagzoora? All the things he said to me, bas 7achi? My eyes started to gather tears, the tears that he wanted to stop a few hours ago.. But how could he? Ana.. ANA y9eer feeni chithee?! And I started crying...
Tears of betrayal..
Tears of failure..
Tears of shock..
Tears of disbelief..
Tears that turned into a salty river on my bruised cheeks, burning their way down and followed by more..
I was shaking with fury. I wanted to break out of my casts, to go break his own neck for doing this to me. No wonder this all seemed too unreal; it was just a game. None of his feelings were true, none of the things he promised were out of heart, none of the looks in his eyes was love. I was stunned at how far I was decieved. I actually believed that he loved me, that he wanted me, that he cared.
I needed to cry this out, cry my grief, my new born love. And I decided that I didn't want to see his face anymore. I'll forget him, yes. I managed to live without one of the most important people in my life, and I will be able to live without my deciever, the liar.
My heart was pounding, hurting my ribs. My head was going to explode, I wished I could vanish into nothingness. I was in too much pain, and I can't take anymore. I reached out to press the button, and called the nurse.
As the nurse entered, my tears were still falling heavily, a waterfall..
Nurse (eyes open wide) : wuts wrong habibtee!! Is something hurting?!
Me (between my sobs) : yes.. yes... please nurse.. please.. morphine.. please..
Her face held too much of an expression. She was shocked, no, she was HORRIFIED as I was begging her to give that shot of morphine. She seemed disoriented like she was going to have a nervous breakdown of her own. She leaned against the wall, slowly retreating from the room, turning into a sprint as she got to the door.
I began wailing. Why? WHY? I don't want to live. I had enuf pain in my life 5ala9 mabi I can't take this anymore. I snatched the new stupid blackberry he got me..
Me (typing) : YA 7AQEER.. YA A7QAR INSAN MAR 3ALAY IB 7AYATY..
I couldn't see through my tears, but I kept on writing, saying the words aloud as I typed them
Me (typing still): MABI ASHOOF RIG3AT WAYHIK AGAIN YA ...
I stopped to give it a thought.. Ya 5ayin? I can't really say that. He never really confessed his love. Nor did he ever say he was committed or anything. I decided on calling him 7mar, since that was the perfect word. Very expressive, in my point of view.
I typed the word and pressed the enter key. I watched the "D" waiting yet again for it to turn into an "R". I started to hate this technology ib sibbita, allah la ywafga. I waited and waited, then I realized he'd be "too busy" right now for any msg from anyone, ha!
I gazed into space for a few seconds, the fire glazing inside me.. I gave the bb a dark look, and used all the energy I could gather and threw it into the opposite wall, pieces flying all over the room. As soon as the phone shattered, several nurses rushed into the room.
Nurse: its ok habibtee everything will be okay don't worry.. Relax relax!!
I was still crying loudly, it reminded me of the way I cried when I was a kid..
Nurse: its okaaay.. We will now call mr.yusif...
And that did it.
I was screaming at the top of my lungs. I thrashed and pushed and kicked and did everything the casts would let me do.
"MA ABEEEEEEEH!!! FIHAMTAY?! MA ABI ASHOOOFAAAA!!!!"
I wasn't in my right mind. I had lost it. Saying that she'll call him for me triggered me into losing it. And all of a sudden all the nurses where holding me everywhere. I couldn't move anything except my head, side to side, still screaming.
I felt the pinch of the needle go through my skin, blood spurting everywhere with my high pressure. And a few seconds later, I was unconcious, my body as still as a corpse waiting to be buried...
